The Big "C"

Cancer sucks.

Too many people have to deal with this in their life whether it be their mom, dad, grandparent, sister, brother friend...worst of all is when its yourself. I was diagnosed at 21, with stage IA describes invasive breast cancer with a tumor that was 1.8 cm tumor but didnt spread outside my left breast and luckily no lymph nodes were involved. They couldnt have caught it any sooner than they did and I was extremely lucky and grateful that I didnt have to do intensive therapy for years and years. Worst part of the whole process was missing out on time with Jaelynn due to nausea and fatigue. As much as it sucked it could have been so much worse and here I am a year cancer free writing about it. Not everyone is as lucky.

My fellow fighters and I called it the "Big C" ...really inappropriate if you knew what we were calling..(C U Next Tuesday, get it?) but cancer is a big C! Anyone whos watched someone figth for their life, struggle to make it to the next hour let a lone day knows what I'm talking about. Its one of those things everyone knows about and is somehow affected.

The family I nanny for has always been super supportive of me. I had their oldest son when I worked at Tosa Daycare and when I missed a few weeks of work she left a card thanking me for all that I do for Charlie and lots of words of encouragement. My boss sent it to my house and I was so touched. At this point her son and I were only "together" 3 months and she wanted me to know they cared. Amazing! Here I am little over a year later working for them in their home with both their sons and love love love it! They pay me well, offer me great food (dad went to culinary school!) and make sure that their appreciation doesnt go unnoticed. Just this week I got a gift card, flowers and beer haha. I love them all and consider them family, I spend so much time with the boys and love every moment of it. She came home from work last night and seemed off, I asked if she was okay and she said just waiting for an important call. I shrugged it off and left for the night.

I emailed her last night to ask a quick question about todays activity and to make sure she was okay and then she dropped the bomb on me..Im not okay, I have breast cancer, stage IV, what do I do now?! I was in complete shock, and tears instantly filled my eyes and heart. I didnt know what to say, how ironic is taht!? Im always talking about how people say the wrong thing and so insensitive and yet Ive been through this and was just in shock, fear, sadness and just all around nervous for her and her family! This woman has been through so much already the past few months and now this?! Really?! I replied with "We should talk more tomorrow, please let me know if theres anything I can do" may have seemed rude but I didnt wanna say the wrong thing or upset her more. I havent had a chance to talk and catch up, but plan to tonight. She should be on her way home as I type this...

Hope it all works out for her and their family!